Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
