Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize