we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
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