puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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