but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
