$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Two words: nipple clamps
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