I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize