well I can't set my house on fire every night
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
