Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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