at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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