we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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