everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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