Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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