I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.