At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea