I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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