oh god the rape fog is back!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
