Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
