Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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