Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
