So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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