Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
