What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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