I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
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