If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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