how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
