Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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