Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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