The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
