what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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