that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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