What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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