TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
