Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
