She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
