Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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