Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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