I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
