Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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