so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
