my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
