dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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