Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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