I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
