Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
