A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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