Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
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