Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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