Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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