no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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