Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
