apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
