so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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