I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
