I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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