There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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