She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I AM VODKA MAN
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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